Eternity in an Hour
by Fan.Sea.Pants
Summary: Dipping my toes into the ocean of Cailey stories. This will probably be mindless drabbles about whatever or a home for short oneshots - should I find it necessary to release from my mind. Just writing because I want to. Is there a better excuse than that?
1. The Art of Looking Sideways

The Art of Looking Sideways

So they say it takes eight and a half minutes for the sunlight to reach the earth. I could spend all day debating that exact figure, but lately I find myself waking up and thinking about things other than agriculture or my academic pursuits. I mean, I shouldn't be complaining right? The sunlight is always there for me bright and early. Who I am to complain that it takes eight and a half minutes, give or take a few, to reach the small porthole.

Staring up from my bed, the flecks of sunlight paint the ceiling in a million shades of yellow. I know, I know, that isn't factually correct… but sometimes I just love how magical things can seem. That for a moment in time, even if it was just one grain's worth of time from an hour glass – it was my magic. Just mine. And sometimes, it's just ours.

In a world like this one, there aren't many times when we can see something perfect - plain and simple. I am surely one to know that. But that is how I know that magic exists. Because love isn't just a heightened amount of hormones or chemicals. It's neither a simple or complex mathematical equation. No, it can't be. It's magical. Definitely.

Or else I wouldn't be here lying right now, drabbling on about existentialism. It exists that all I know.

Darn it. Here I go again. I hate how I just talk and talk, think and think, and before I know I've lost everyone's attention. Ha, at least he's always there to listen.

Can I just put this out there: I just swooned. Oh my gosh, hold on one second while I squeal… I can't help it. Even quark-sized thoughts of him make me all giddy inside. This surely is the feeling of being in love.

They say he's weak. Spineless, cowardly, and more often than not, likened to a girl. You know, sometimes I have to agree with them. Even I wonder how he manages to save face in certain situations. I hope you also know the world isn't perfect. I mean, Cody definitely wasn't my definition of the perfect guy when I first met him. Truth be told, he still isn't and never will be. But, he's better than that.

He's real.

I can finally differentiate what it means to love and be in love. And like it or not, I have London to thank for this. She showed me an image from her phone one day and I literally had an epiphany. She held her phone up and told me to read the writing. Being the kind friend that I am, erghm, I gladly looked for her. So I bent my head and read it. "You look funny with your head turned sideways like that."

Poof. And just like that it dawned on me. First looking at that image I had no idea what to expect, being my analytical self, I thought it was rather edgy and smart. The black background accentuated the unreadable yellow writing. Then…. Wait for it… I turned my head sideways! London and I shared a small laugh that I know she'll keep between her and me. I get it now.

I know I sound crazy, but I get it. Just turn your head sideways. Love isn't a straightforward image. You can look at something and love it for face value, or even because it just exists. But To be in love is to look sideways and find something even better. A hidden message.

So I did the sideways thing to Cody the next time we saw each other and then I knew. It was love. The moment I tilted my head sideways I saw it. He looked at me like I was crazy… but I still saw it. Like those million shades of yellow on the ceiling, I saw a million things I love about Cody. And the hidden message behind that: he saw a million things about me too.

Aha ha ha, I don't make sense do I. Don't worry. I admit I'm crazy…. Crazily, insanely in love.

I guess, I just can't get over the fact that the person I love is 72.8% water. But then again, that is the art of looking sideways.


	2. Endless Night

Endless Night

And if I dream and wish and hope and believe with all my might – will it be ok? I close my eyes and let them flutter in utter rage. Lying here in bed, unable to gather the strength to move, I force my retinas to focus on the damp, dark ceiling. The monotonous shade of a black, like the unforgiving momentum flux of a rip current, swallowed me whole.

Engulfed in my own self-pitying I almost forgot how I ended up in this position. But who would want to remember? To be stripped of your dreams in one unyielding motion, to realise that you will lose all but some stupid life force keeping you alive. My heart thudded in despair… in sorrow… in defeat… in mocking tones of "you're alive, you're alive, you're alive!"

Maybe I'm making this out worse than it really is. No. It can't be. What can be more dreaded in the human world than this?

Globular beads of water, mixed with mucus, sodium chloride and antibodies, invaded my eyes and streaked down my cheek. Yes, my textbooks could tell me of how our bodily functions operate and how humans behave and think and act. Yet they fail to include the most important part – how we feel. A mere description of a tear drop does not contain the underlying emotion nor barely begin to explain what pain or happiness it bears amidst the sea of human secretion.

_Knock, knock._

A strong and definite knock on my door echoed throughout my silent room halting my thoughts and saving me from whatever dark brainwave threatened to destroy my soul.

It was her.

The one whose existence and presence meant as much to me as the intramolecular forces of atoms that allowed for such a universe to exist.

"Cody," she whispered, and suddenly the dark veil suffocating me lifted. Or maybe it was the fact that I turned my lamp on.

"Cody," I could hear a soft choke. She was crying. I desperately wanted to run towards her but I couldn't.

"Bailey," I whispered back. The crackle in my voice was evident.

The door creaked open and even though it sounded like the crawl of a murderer, to me it was everything. Light from the quiet hallway outside poured in and shone directly on my face.

You'd think she would stand there. Shine in all her glory – raise the climatic air. You'd think we'd stare into each others eyes for a while. Gaze longingly at each other, shed a tear or two. Maybe even smile at each other for some time.

I would think so too. But then it would clearly be the makings of my imagination.

No, she didn't stand there and we didn't waste our precious time two metres apart. Her strong legs ran swiftly towards my bed and before I could sit up she was already holding me in her arms. A vice grip that would keep together.

For the life of me, I didn't understand how all those dismal thoughts erased from my mind just like that. My weak arms lifted so that could embrace her too.

Suddenly renewed emotions flooded through me. For instance, as quickly as an afferent nerve fibre carried the neurons into the central nervous system, one small thing changed everything. I felt… I felt…. Sometimes words are not enough. I sighed in relief, slowly and shakily.

In each other's arms and saying nothing more, our hearts did the talking. The scientist in me could never explain why that one muscle in us meant so much more than life itself - why the strength of its beat felt more gratifying than measuring the length of the organ's survival.

Romance felt far too good to question anyway.

Being apart from Bailey will be the hardest thing I will ever face. Perhaps, I thought too much about it but I can't just stop the way I feel.

But it's ok. Because I know now.

No matter what solitary struggle awaits us, no matter how much pain and torment may come our way… Because we have moments like this. Joyous moments like this. We can find light to escape the dark. We can face the challenges over and over again.


End file.
